Stoner Rebuttal to Senate's Soda Tax

A proposal has been sent by the Senate to help Californians slim down by putting a sugar tax on soda, not to mention help bloat the empty wallet called California's state budget.

But those opposed, most likely offended because they are stoners addicted to sugar fixes, propose a rebuttal called an Atkins Tax.

"If obesity is what we are trying to combat, why not start with foods high in saturated fat like the bacon and cheese you love to eat so much. Look mom, no carbs! Is California so starved for a reason to tax everything on the shelf including table sugar? "

Survey reveals stoners are quite taken aback by this sugar fee, not to mention some tree-hugging grass gnawing, eat-nothing-if-it's-not-vegan mentality will have no affect on their lifestyles if a pig dies and served to you for breakfast at a nominal fee.

With another proposal to legalize marijuana in the state of California to increase revenue for the state of California, we can see why "these guys" are pissed. It's like selling a car to someone, then making them buy the tires separately. Not to mention, these guys shouldn't be driving anyway. They're always 20 miles under the speed limit. They want the marijuana, but they don't want to pay the taxes on their tasty delectables. Try getting to the store first.

"It's not like that, man. It's the whole system, man. It's like what are you doing to the people, man? It's like….. what was I saying, man? Oh yah, well Captain Crunch is like really really good. And a bunch of other cereals too, man."

Either way, it sounds like the Senate is dying to tax the stoner demographic in anyway they can. Tax the reefer, then tax the munchies. Not a bad plan, eh?

“Not only will higher taxes fail to make people healthier, they will jeopardize good-paying jobs and put further pressure on our struggling growers retailers," said Joey JoJo, aka Green Thumb, aka Morning Sun. “We simply can’t tax our way to healthier lifestyles, man."

MorningSun continues, "Go after the little guys. Sure go after us, we never did anything."

And that might just be how the Senate feels; that "they" don't do anything.

"Everything has sugar in it, man. What are you gonna do, like tax the whole food industry?"

And that's what they did. No wonder Whole Foods cost so much. Going green and organic never tasted so sweet.