New Fad Diet: The Break-Up Diet Trumps The Lemonade Cleanse

A new fad diet has been all the rage in recent weeks among the socially elite and celebrities that has gotten everyone talking. We've all heard about the infamous Lemonade Cleanse, Atkins Diet, South Beach Diet, food pairing, Blood-Type Diet and the list goes on without avail. But this new diet combines the emotional side effects of relationships to gear positive effects on the body. The Break-Up Diet is exactly what it sounds like. After breaking up with your significant other, the female body goes into a state of recession, not wanting to eat, depressed from rejection. Popular among Hollywood celebrities--as so many couples break up over and over again-- surfaced a trend which fueled this diet. Some celebrities even admitted to dating just to get to the break-up to get that shameful visceral feeling which led to their weight loss--which they viewed as a positive side effect. Other alternate diets among Hollywood celebs include the Divorce Diet and the On-Camera Affair Diet. Although we could trace this diet back to Paris Hilton-- as she has gotten a ride from more boys than the village bicycle-- she admits she's free from any fad diet and only sticks to what she knows: cocaine that mysteriously looks like bubble gum in her purse.

Facebook Users Upload Meal Time And Happy Hour Pics To Appear Adventurous

With all the fury of Facebook--and apps running out the whazoo-- a new study reveals that nearly 85% of Facebook users typically post pictures of something they are about to consume for lunch, dinner, dessert, or happy hour. Some of the users might even continue with a status update normally mentioning how great the delectable was, and, may even include a winky face or giant smiley emoticon. One Facebooker gave insight as to the incentive behind the mobile epicurean uploading.

"Well beyond my general affinity for various cuisine and imbibitions, I just want the whole virtual world to know what a god damn good time I'm having. So what if sometimes it just tastes like crap. You can't tell from the picture. Plus it just looks awesome!"

Popular status updates include: "Hanging out with my besties with only the best champagne around," "you can probably guess I cleaned up that dish," to "now that was better than I could have ever dreamed. The itus will put me back to sleep so I can dream about it all over again."

Other users admit they do it out of complete "look at me look at me" mentality because snapping a picture of their lunch while sitting at their cubicle is by far the most interesting thing that has happened to them all day.

"But we must post! We must post daily!! I even troll for comments, hoping my own pic will get everyone wishing they had my lunch too!! It feels soooooo good! More comments, more comments, more…….muahahahahaha"

Not only has the social media site connected over 500 million users around the world, but it can now pinpoint the exact things people are eating and drinking on a day-by-day basis. This information will then be used by Mark Zuckerburg, Facebook founder, to sell to Groupon and other food and beverage companies for advertising space that hangs in the right side of your profile, which leads you to the place that gets you the app to take another picture of your food or drink that will be targeted at you on the right hand side of your profile the very next day. Eat, snap, repeat...please:)

Thuggies: Full of Innovation? Or Full Of Crap?

A new and "innovative" re-branding of the popular diaper "Huggies" hit the shelves last week and got people thinking about the intentions behind the change. Strategists over at Kimberly-Clark decided to share some of their thoughts about the new direction.

"After gathering much information in focus groups, we heard that Huggies just hadn't done anything innovative, ground-breaking, or anything that established some kind of cultural movement, so to speak. So we wanted to put that shock value back into the product. We figured this product really needed to speak the attitudes of young children coming into this world, to speak way earlier than with the utterance of even their first word. We wanted diapers with attitude."

"Thuggies" became the new take-over of this idea, with a collection of various catchphrases stamped on the back of each diaper.

"We figured with the triple protection leak barriers, nothing was getting past those pampers. With the super- absorbent cottons within, that pamper could suck up more than a Bounty roll, leaving that pamper maxed out in protection. With all the premium absorption leads to a heavy weight which may in fact lead the diapers to sag. Well, we saw this as a marketing opportunity and decided to rename the diaper "Thuggies" for the way it naturally sinks towards the ground. Add a little catchphrase on the back and you got an infant with attitude. We want to establish that sense of personality and individualism through the diaper."

"If they can make Denim-looking pampers, why can't we have the underlying boxer look that was so popular among hip-hop high school kids in the early '90s? C'mon, it's just a freedom of expression that happens within the doors of your own home. Live a little. Don't take it too seriously. "

Of course, many celebrities were reticent to put their name behind this product, except of course the renown Hollywood sell-outs: The Kardashian sisters. They will dominate this market, and only shows that they will once again, put their name behind a bunch of crappy products.

2010 Douche Badge Awarded To Municipal Profession: Meter Maid

They make more appearances than Paris Hilton. They give out more tickets than the state lotto. They are more notorious than BIG and they are more disliked than Kayne West. Yes, you may have guessed it. The 2010 Douche Badge was awarded to the municipal profession: the dreaded Meter Maid. Grunting four minutes past the expired meter, one man flung his ticket in disdain and cursed the asshole in a pseudo-authoritative uniform. Drivers notice the smug disposition of these city workers, thinking they're as bad-ass as cops, sitting there with their time clickers and waiting for that precise moment when--BAM!!-expired. Too bad. They laugh in delight when the pen hits the pad of ticket paper. Well, the people have voted and Meter Maid won in a landslide. They considerably outweighed other frowned-upon professions such as hookers and clowns; at least they provide services of entertainment service. Keep your quarters handy.

New Site Takes A DeadBEET To A BEETNIK

The TURNIP is using its publications today to showcase his bastard cousin, BEETNIK. The BEETNIK is a collaborative effort with The TURNIP that showcases artistic and aesthetic expressions of popular culture, politics, and--most importantly--nonsense, in a visual way. Sliced in between are some musical beets to keep your ear juiced and ready for eargasm. Have a look.

His savagery can be frowned upon at turnipart.wordpress.com

Chevy Release of 2011 Motor Vehicle: ReVOLTing

While saving Chevy/GM and Chrysler's asses last year with an enormous automobile bailout, Chevy made the promise to ensure the bailout was essential to keep the company from collapsing and people losing their jobs. After much efforts to design a prototype that fit the standards of a green-growing economy and to appeal to the needs of its consumers, Chevy launched its new automobile ensuring that it will be the best performance vehicle of 2011. Chevy recently launched its ad campaign that promoted the new car. Chevy knew it could not continue lying to the American public come another year; it decided to be very upfront with its advertising. Chevy's automobile--The Revolting-- hit billboards everywhere with its honest advertising that got people feeling doubtful of the progress Chevy has made-- and ultimately wished wished wished--that they had never bailed them out in the first place. Seems like this bailout turned out to be a major car crash in decision making. On another note, it appears that FiAT bought out Chrysler. They knew their only chance to successfully sell the hunks of junk was to throw in an air freshener, a big breasted Italian woman, and a bottle of wine. Prego!