Pap's Schmear Leaves Bad Taste In Bagel Lovers' Mouths

Bagel lovers were disgusted on Tuesday morning with the grand opening of Pap's Deli in downtown New York, that had enough of the consumers screaming out in unison "oy vay." The bagels were impeccable with the freshness and fluffiness of the bread and the variety of plain, rye, everything, and super onion. But once the consumer bit into that round O of delight, consumers thought about the Pap's Schmear on their bagels--some of which were salmon-flavored--resulting in up-chuck reflexes and dry heaving.