All this great wonderful talk and buzz about the new launch of Google +. “What is it?” people exclaim while others respond, “Hell if I know, but it’s new and it’s Google so it’s gotta be awesome. I’ll pretty much follow anybody who’s already doing it!”
Of course, Google wants their followers to know that the company is trying to simplify their lives, categorize their friends, and let people know how awesome they are because they check in to hangouts. But yesterday, Google was caught saying something very different from the altruistic nature of technological advances for its users.
“Yah, we want all the followers. All 750 million of them,. Muahahahaha. Really, the strategy and marketing objective for the brand was basically to face-fuck Mark Zuckerberg and fuck Facebook in its face. We’re gonna run this shit! …+you…-Zbag = mucha money for us!! Seriously, we just took every popular social network and crammed into one network, and people thought it was just so revolutionary. So, we had to let people feel the need to get invited to the network to give them desire to want to join. Fuck going to Harvard and needing a university email. Oh, and we’ll probably take that over, too. Google Universities, Google coffee shops, Google Forever21 retail stores, you name it. All we have to say is Google + and people love us!! If we can take all the Facebook users and run Zuckerberg out, well, Google has done it’s job! We couldn’t be more proud about it.”
Execs laughed it off as they sharpened their virtual blades for the Z-bag they once worked for. There is also rumor a movie is already being plotted called, “Google: We Run This Shit,” or possibly “Facebook 2: You Just Got Fucked,” starring Charlie Sheen. What better way to be innovative than steal from the same people you once worked with.
Pure Sheenius, Google!
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