New Drink Turned Down At Bars For Being Too Pessimistic.

One local bar recently decided to reject the idea of a new mixed drink because the drink’s name encapsulated too much pessimism, not to mention supreme enthusiasm for American patriotism. The newly-invented drink entitled, “La Terrorista”, reflected controversial overtones that directly attack the belief systems of the US and many Republican imbibing enthusiasts. The creator said the name was merely an artistic expression and should not be taken so literally. He continues to tell us that he should not be ridiculed and excused himself with reasons like 1st Amendment rights and freedom of expression, blablahblah. He said the title treatment only reflected contents found in the drink and how the how the drink makes you feel. He continued by saying,

“I decided to name the drink “La Terrorista” because I wanted to include very low-grade alcohol that incinerates quite quickly. The drink is mixed with Bacardi 151, Kalishnakov, and that cheap shit found in giant gallon bottles at 10 bucks a pop, mostly purchased by college students on a very low budget. The alcohols are ice-shook and then poured into a triple shot glass on top one ounce of tomato juice and then finally topped with hot sauce. This fiery concoction is then light on fire after pouring and then slid towards you across the counter of the bar.”

He said the method on which the shot is delivered to the drinker, red hot and on fire, was reflective of American culture.

“We cannot get away from the problems of terrorism or alcoholism, so we should embrace both of them.”

The shoddy alcohol burns quickly and should be blown out upon its arrival, then immediately downed in one giant gulp. If you didn’t get enough burning of the throat from the shoddy dirt cheap alcoholic trifecta, the hot sauce will really bite at your throat and possibly start burning its way up into your nasal cavity.

“Once the tears start pouring you will realize the true effects of “La Terroista”,” he adds. His creative endeavors have given rise to other innovative beverages not yet presented towards the National Barista Association of America. We’re literally dying to see what he comes up with next.