New Marketing Company Fails Because They Took Timing Too Literally

A new start-up marketing company has divulged some serious advice on certain things to stay away from when starting your own business, trying to invent your own job, and giving yourself a big fluffy company title/position while failing to bring in clients.

With the old saying ,"Where there's a will, there's a way" these girls managed to print some funky business cards as the initial stage of building a business. "We totally understand social media. Like, we both know how to use Twitter and Facebook." Upon seeing tweets, it didn't seem like anybody was following their business. They responded, "Well, like, you hear about traffic a lot and we totally didn't follow what they were saying. I mean, like, yah the SoCal freeways are super trafficky, but it's like the internet. How do you like run out of space and stuff?" The continued on with the interview to say, "We just figured if we put it out there, someone was going to like, find it, and want us to help them and stuff like that. I mean, we're all, like, artists and designers and stuff and some people just need more help than others."

Catching up with them over at their crawl space, eh hem, work space, they spoke about innovative business tactics such as reading "Business For Dummies", "Running Like A Totally Amazing Company 101", and "You're AbFab Amazeballs, Baby!" They mentioned the latter was one just about singing daily affirmations into the mirror every morning and telling yourself how awesome you are--not a part of the business model, just a Vanity Venn Diagram.

But despite such colloquialisms like, "Believe in yourself", "Nothing is Impossible", "Because You're Amazing", and "You're Just Amazing," the company did not survive well in the first months after its arrival. We asked why they had so many clocks with different times from all around the world. The CEO/ Business Dummy Guru/ Advocate of the word "amazeballs" told us, "Yah, we spent all of our capital on all these clocks for our wall. But as much as the clocks aren't bringing in clients like we thought, we just stare at them all day...hoping. I mean, it's all about timing."