Suicidal Turkey Doesn't Understand the Meaning of Thanksgiving

Some people bring in the spirit of the holiday season with cheer and festivities while some people can't wait to stuff it under the carpet like an ominous bug that they couldn't wish away fast enough. That seemed to be the case for one emotional turkey who seemed to be suffering from an existential meltdown about the meaning of life. The turkey had been caught saying morose things such as "What if the meaning of life is for me to give up my own life to make others happy?" and "do you believe in reincarnation? I think I will come back in the afterlife as a earthworm." He even continued with riddles like, "why did the chicken cross the road? To create moody cathartic art with an emotional poultry sidekick." After several sessions in therapy, I realized my true calling; that I could end up on a neurotic hot woman's face as a means of lightening the mood of poultry genocide. The sunglasses were essential."