It was an interesting day today for area woman, Tammy Faejohn, when a complete stranger slapped her in the face somewhere in downtown Chicago for living her life “completely ass-backwards as fuck.” Faejohn has been recorded the first “emotional dyslexic” anyone has ever seen.
She explains, “Well I thought you started off getting married, sitting around being miserable for a bunch of years, grow older and go on your honeymoon. After the honeymoon phase, exchange apartment keys to signify being in a serious relationship, get flowers, go on fewer and fewer dates, have awkward first phone call then never speak to the person again. I’ve been married at least 100 times. But that’s nothing compared to the idea of ultimately ending up being single.”
While many of her friends took the date-relationship-marriage approach, Faejohn beelined it through 100 marriages, received many marital financial benefits, and ended up completely alone.
“Some people are so afraid of marriage, but it’s only the initial step. I mean if you ultimately want to end up happily single after, you gotta put some work into it!” Faejohn’s closing words as she lit the filter-end of her cigarette.
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