Friday, September 30, 2011

Ex-Convict Lands Killer Upper Management Position For Cut-Throat Behavior


When jobs are scarce these days, it was interesting to find that Brad Johnson, an ex-convict from Boston, Massachusetts landed a highly desired position in upper management at a brokerage firm last Wednesday. Not even two months out of prison for Xing his ex, he blindly applied to positions he felt qualified for. Brutally honest, Johnson admitted to the felony box and where the line said “other: please specify” he wrote, “Strangled my stupid wife to death because she wouldn’t shut her fucking mouth.” While most employers might immediately dispose of the resume and alert security of his presence near the building, Johnson was offered a second interview then was hired full-time.

“We saw a lot of potential in Johnson. First off, his candor and ability to speak is mind is something we value at this company. It offers for seamlessness in internal communications as well as with our clients. His cut-throat behavior shows that he can keep anyone in line which is great for lower-tier employees. It helps keep them in check. We also considered his prison background, which showed us that he can survive day-to-day life in a cubicle—a main component to our corporate infrastructure. Also, the fact that he as convicted with pre-meditated murder, we really focused on ‘pre-meditated’ which illustrated to us that he can really think things through and come to well-thought out solutions. We think he will be a strong and commanding asset to the company.”

While Johnson has gone from jumpsuit to suit and tie in a matter of a couple months shows that anyone with enough passion, or heat of passion, can make it in these hard economic times. Johnson is expected a raise next quarter while three current employees get axed from their positions.


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