A new survey was released the other day about Chicago only to find out the only thing going on or that anyone talked about was the weather. Weather this, weather that, whether the weather would affect their day. Normally used as a conversation starter, it was also noticed that the weather can become a large part of the conversation, and sometimes used as a closer. Sometimes when you step outside where people are congregating—whether at coffee shops, rooftops, or resturants—98% of people were, in fact, talking about the weather. The other 2% was designated for hobos' vain attempts for money, crack, or cigarettes, which were completely ignored and then everyone went back to focusing on the weather.
One man started up a conversation saying “Man, nice weather we got today.” Another responded, “Yah, great weather, hope we keep up with this great weather. Would hate to see the weather get shitty tomorrow. Do you know what the weather will be like tomorrow?” The other man responded, “Yea the weather tomorrow is not going to be as nice as the weather today, but it shouldn’t be any worse than the weather on Sunday. But where you live in the burbs, is the weather still nice out there?” The man responded, “Yea the weather’s about ten degrees colder, but weather’s weather whether you like the weather or not.”
Both men continued on with the conversation for yet a couple hours, sometimes taking a break to look into the sky, ponder about tomorrow’s forecast, making snide faces at the potential for rainfall, wind and rainfall, torrential down pour, a combination of rainfall in the morning/rainfall in afternoon/storms at night, or lightning in the morning/rain/cloudy/more lightning/overcast/freezing rain/30 mph wind, or the possibility of rainfall in the morning with some clouds/a peek of sun/lightning and thunder tearing up the sky for the afternoon/back to light rainfall/heavy down pour at night with 30 mph winds/ freezing rain/ then unseasonable freezing.
“See, when you’ve got weather, there’s a lot to talk about. The weather is about as fickle as my cheating-bitch ex-wife. Talk about a natural disaster. But still, I just go back to talking about the weather. It’s what brings us Chicagoans together.”
As he finished talking, he turned to another passer-by and started up again about the weather. Meanwhile, while everyone was talking about the weather, a giant windy rainstorm blew in and destroyed every umbrella in the city in 1.5 minutes, which in turn, gave Chicagoans something to talk about.
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