New information was leaked the other day about an extended line-up of products that will come off of Apple’s assembly line even after the passing of great thinker and innovator, Steve Jobs. Turns out, Steve Jobs foresaw a great amount of technology in the future and still wanted to be Numero Uno even after his death. One close co-worker made comment:
“Steve Jobs was a great thinker and always knew what to expect. He wanted to keep giving back even after his passing so he made sure to really think ahead. A lot like Tupac making all those records before he got “shot” then ran off living in the Carribean somewhere. Yea, you could totally say he’s like the white-guy, techy Tupac of our generation. I guess you could call him TechPac. Not to mention, Apple and its nemesis, IBM, always at war with each other when it comes to having the sleekest, coolest product. I mean Apple totally blows them out the water, but like that battle where it was all like ‘east coast/west coast shit.’ We’re ‘west coast’ and everyone knows ‘west coast’ was better. California Love!! I mean hell, we’re from Silicon Valley. What up, Cali!”
As the co-worker continued why ‘west coast is the shit’ and ‘IBM ain’t got nothing on us,” he handed over some preliminative sketches for what to expect in 2056.
“Based on data research, intuitive thinking, and controlling what people will need in the future, Jobs came up with these prototypes that will have people goo-goo-gaaing over some iPhone 45.9 GS*. More megapixels, 4-D HDDDDD Video, Mind Reading Device by Retina Scanning …we’re talking the works!” Now that we think about it, Steve Jobs could almost foreshadow his own death the way Tupac did. We also caught him saying weird things in the mirror like, “That’s why I upgraded yo tablet, you fat motherfucker!” and “My Fo-Fo make sho all yo kids know how to intuitively use a smartphone.” And “Pack a vest for your smartphone in the city of Text.” Believe me, we haven’t seen the last of Steve Jobs yet.”
He later informaed us that Jobs was furthering Apple technology in the realm of hologram-ography where he could render himself as a three dimensional hologram in the office, giving constantly awesome Powerpoint presentations on innovation and synergy while still maintaining the same turtleneck to bring it back to reality. Some of the final last words he said to Apple that really hit home with everyone here was: “Brenda’s got a Baby.”
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